Dealing with Non-Orthodox Associates?

[JamesR]

Hello! I'm new to this forum. Anyhow, I'm 17 years old and I just converted to Orthodoxy about two years ago from Evangelical Protestantism against the wishes of my parents. It's been pretty tough since I'm the only Orthodox in my family, and none of my friends are really Orthodox, and my parents have been hostile toward my conversion, although they are a bit more tolerant now. Anyhow, I was wondering, how should we relate to people like our family and friends after we've converted to Orthodoxy? In a sense, I feel distanced from them, and I oftentimes get sad because I know they are walking in darkness. This is especially true with a couple of my Protestant friends who recently returned from a mission trip to Haiti. According to one girl I know from it, she described to me all of these "miracles" and "Godly experiences" she had--including speaking in tongues, allowing "the Holy Spirit to guide you" and all that scary stuff. I feel very worried for them--as well as for my family, which, is still Evangelical Protestant. Is it dangerous for me to stay in contact with them? I don't want to become "polluted" or "contaminated" by their demonic experiences. I've already got my burden to carry battling my lustfulness. At the same time, I don't want to leave them pretty much condemned. I'd like to do something to help them--especially my family and closest friends, all of whom are deluded and walking in Protestantism.

[frphoti]

James~

You have to love all of them and grow in your faith. Your good example will -God willing- be a light unto them. The Orthodoxy they don't understand will be described and shown by you and your pious life. Try not to argue, exile or set any of them apart. We are all ill with sin, but some go to better doctors. That fact will be seen by all.

Just be you. You have the (True) faith to keep you from their error. You know what's right and what's wrong as far as the life in Christ goes. If they ask, give them an answer. "But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear..." If they say something absolutely ridiculous, give a polite, loving response. But sometimes all you can do is nod and smile; they don't get it. Being combative only drives people away. I am telling you this from experience. Be patient.

Love all as you would have them love you, and pray for them. You are young. There will be plenty of time to learn more about your faith, and then to use it constructively in respect to your family. Time and life are great teachers. God's grace is sufficient.

May God bless you with wisdom from above.

[Barbara]

Welcome, James !

i will return to this, but my inclination is strongly to say right off the bat that it is safer to try to maintain a distance.
It's REALLY hard to handle all that demonic attack, which is how I see it.
The devil uses your family and friends to destabilize your progress as Orthodox.

I personally don't believe in the "Just be kind to them and they will see the Light and follow you into Orthodoxy" school of thought.

I urge a revision of your priorities as far as spending time with people.

This has worked for me. I have more of a monastic mindset anyway, so it comes naturally to set oneself away in a safer environment.

I want to read over your comments again, and may add more.

But hurried to welcome you and let you know you are heard and appreciated here !

[joasia]

Welcome James,

I agree with frphoti. I converted at 27 (20 years ago). My family is RC. They didn't understand and were pretty disturbed. But, at that age, I was able to move out so they see me as an independent whereas you still need to live under their roof. They thought I was brainwashed. But, they are totally ignorant, still, to any theological understandings. They are simple immigrant folk. I still go for their Christmas, Easter, birthdays, anniversaries, summer barbeques and visits. They did have to get used to my fasting schedules. But, they see that I am there with them and that I have not become a recluse and wear black all the time. I just don't go to their Church anymore. I usually visit them (my parents) on a Sunday and they know that I have to go to Church first and I will drop by afterwards. I made friends in the Orthodox Church which I have brought with me on visits so they see that I have a normal life and friends. Afterall, they love me and don't want to see anything bad happen to me.

It would be very hurtful, for them, if I had broken ties. They would feel as if I had died. I don't think that's necessary. They haven't come closer to Orthodoxy, unfortunately. But, I pray for them and you never know.

When I converted, I knew that it was the only right thing to do. I had (and still have) strong convictions of faith. But, I don't push my parents and family away from me. Keep the courage.

I also feel that distance and worry about their salvation. I'm sure all converts have that natural reaction. It's part of the package.

That's my general advise. As far as the Protestant experiences, I'm sure you'll get a lot of supporting advise here.

God bless,
In Christ,
Joanna