Political humor: keeps us sane in a crazy world

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Maria
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Political humor: keeps us sane in a crazy world

Post by Maria »

President Obama goes to a primary school to talk to the kids.

After his talk he offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand, and Obama asks him his name.

" Walter," says the little boy.

Obama responds, "Hi Walter and what is your question?"

"I'd like to start with seven questions"

First, "Why did the USA bomb Libya without the support of the Congress?"

Second, "Why do you keep saying you fixed the economy when it's actually gotten worse?"

Third, "Why did you say that Jeremiah Wright was your mentor, then said that you knew nothing about his preaching and beliefs?"

Fourth, "Why are we lending money to Brazil to drill for oil, but America is not allowed to drill for oil or even pursue the Keystone Pipeline?"

Fifth, "Why do you continue to cover up the Benghazi scandal?"

Sixth, "Why do you spy on your own U.S. Citizens?"

and lastly, "Why did the IRS target Republicans?

Just then, the bell rings for recess.

Obama informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume Obama says, "OK, where were we? Oh, that's right: question time. Who has a question?"

Another little boy puts up his hand. Obama points him out and asks him his name.

"Steve," he responds.

"And what is your question, Steve?"

"Actually, I have two questions."

First, "Why did the recess bell ring 40 minutes early?"

Second, "What the hell happened to Walter?"

[Received in an email.]

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me a sinner.

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Maria
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Re: Political humor: keeps us sane in a crazy world

Post by Maria »

I gather that this is all a joke:

  • Adopt a Terrorist.- Too Good to Miss
    The Canadians know how to handle complaints.

    Here is an example.

    A Canadian female liberal wrote a lot of letters to the Canadian government, complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents(terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities. She demanded a response to her letter. She received back the following reply:

    National Defense Headquarters
    M Gen George R. Pearkes Bldg., 15 NT
    101 Colonel By Drive
    Ottawa, ON K1A 0K2, Canada

    Dear Concerned Citizen,
    Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by Canadian Forces, who were subsequently transferred to the Afghanistan Government and are currently being held by Afghan officials in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities.

    Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions were heard loud and clear here in Ottawa. You will be pleased to learn, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new department here at the Department of National Defense, to be called 'Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers' program, or L.A.R.K. for short.

    In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided, on a trial basis, to divert several terrorists and place them in homes of concerned citizens such as yourself, around the country, under those citizens personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and is scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence in Toronto next Monday.

    Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud is your detainee, and is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint. You will be pleased to know that we will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with your recommendations.

    Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his 'attitudinal problem' will help him overcome those character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counselling and home schooling, however, we strongly recommend that you hire some assistant caretakers.

    Please advise any Jewish friends, neighbours or relatives about your house guest, as he might get agitated or even violent, but we are sure you can reason with him. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless in your opinion, this might offend him. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills either in your home or wherever you choose to take him while helping him adjust to life in our country.

    Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters except sexually, since he views females as a form of property, thereby having no rights, including refusal of his sexual demands. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him.

    You also should know that he has shown violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire.

    I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka over time. Just remember that it is all part of respecting his culture and religious beliefs' as described in your letter.

    You take good care of Ahmed and remember that we will try to have a counsellor available to help you over any difficulties you encounter while Ahmed is adjusting to Canadian culture.

    Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our fellow man. Good luck and God bless you.

    Cordially,
    Gordon O'Connor
    Minister of National Defense

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me a sinner.

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Barbara
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Re: Political humor: keeps us sane in a crazy world

Post by Barbara »

The first one strikes a note of fear when Walter disappears !
The second selection is amusing, but clearly a big spoof. It's totally obvious from the way they make sure to
characterize Ahmed regarding her and her daughters. That is such a classic stereotype held by Westerners that one can be sure that someone made this up.

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Maria
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Re: Political humor: keeps us sane in a crazy world

Post by Maria »

Image

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me a sinner.

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Lydia
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Re: Political humor: keeps us sane in a crazy world

Post by Lydia »

Maria wrote:

Image

Is this a blonde joke? I'm not sure I get it.

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Maria
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Re: Political humor: keeps us sane in a crazy world

Post by Maria »

Lydia wrote:
Maria wrote:

Image

Is this a blonde joke? I'm not sure I get it.

I think it is one of those blonde jokes.

If someone did oil their car in this fashion, however, it would not be very funny.
It could cause an engine fire or a lot of smoke that might cause police to become very concerned.

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me a sinner.

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Maria
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Re: Political humor: keeps us sane in a crazy world

Post by Maria »

https://scontent-lax3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hp ... e=56FA312A

Apparently, it's no longer politically-correct to direct a joke at any racial
or ethnic minority, so:

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welchman, a Ghurkha,
a Latrean, a Turk, an Aussie, two Kiwis, a German, an American, a
South African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a
Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an
Israeli, a Dane, a Greek, a Singapoean, an Italian, a Norwegian,
a Libyan, a Muslim, a Hindu, a Buddhist, and an Ethiopian went
to a night club.

The bouncer said, "Sorry, I cannot let you in without a Thai.

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me a sinner.

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