How to Greet a Monk or Nun

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How to Greet a Monk or Nun

Post by 尼古拉前执事 »

I recently had need for this information, so I post it here in case on would need any such help:

How to Greet a Monk or Nun
Protopresbyter Alexander Lebedeff

1) In the Russian Church: Only tonsured nuns are addressed as "Mother"�the others are addressed as "Sister." This is exactly the same as the practice regarding monks, who are called "Father" only if tonsured. The clue is whether they wear the "klobuk"�the cylindrical black hat with the veil�if they wear a klobuk, they are called "Father" or "Mother." The problem with this clue is that the klobuk is worn only in church or at formal occasions�the rest of the time monks and nuns wear "skufias"�soft, usually velvet, pointy hats.� Abbesses, of course, are always addressed as "Mother"�in Russian, the greeting is usually the diminutive "Matushka" [pronounced with accent on the first syllable�webmaster].

2) Only Abbesses (or in rare cases their chief assistants) can wear a pectoral cross. Laypeople should approach an Abbess for a blessing the same as they would a Priest�they bow and hold their hands, palms up, right over left�and after receiving the blessing (which the Abbess makes holding her fingers the same as when one makes the sign of the cross�not the "Name of the Lord" configuration of fingers used by priests when blessing)�they kiss the Abbess's hand.

3) When a Priest greets an Abbess, he blesses her as usual, but they kiss each other's hand, exactly as two Priests meeting (or two Bishops) do. Abbesses stand in a throne and hold their staff, which looks like a Bishop's staff, except it is made of wood.

4) In her convent, the Abbess is the Rector. The Priests who serve in the convent do nothing without her knowledge and blessing. The serving Priest bows to the Abbess when beginning the services, and he censes her before anyone else. The Abbess is commemorated by name at all the major litanies and at the Great Entrance. In many ways, the Abbess is given respect by the serving clergy similar to that given to Bishops present at the service, except that she is censed only three times, not three-times-three.

5) Abbesses can enter the altar at any time. In larger convents, certain nuns are appointed by the Abbess (with the approval of the Bishop) to enter the altar to maintain it and the vestments of the clergy�but it should be known that other nuns cannot enter the altar. Nuns appointed to help in the altar are usually chosen from those who have been in the convent from a young age.

The Russian approach is usually rather easy: if they're wearing a pectoral cross, you can get a blessing from them. Unless, of course, they're outside of the church and not wearing their cross. . .

With love in Christ,

Prot. Alexander Lebedeff

Taken from the archives of the Orthodox Email Forum ("Indiana List") in February, 1999. See also "Clergy Etiquette" and "Monastery and Convent Etiquette" at http://OrthodoxInfo.com

Last edited by 尼古拉前执事 on Sun 6 March 2005 1:15 am, edited 1 time in total.
Justin Kissel

Post by Justin Kissel »

One should definately read articles like this before visiting monasteries. /\ Definately don't make the mistake that I did the first time I visited a monastery. The monastery I had been staying at needed to deliver an icon to a second monastery, so we went to this 2nd monastery, where I sort of just hung around the appropriate areas waiting for the monk who had brought me to return. Well, they apparently--of course trying to be hospitable--sent a monk out to make sure I was ok; he introduced himself as "Father so and so". Being a foolish clueless catechumen, I asked for his blessing! He wasn't sure what to do, so he just sort of half motioned a blessing with his arm (of course, anyone can give blessings to you, but it took him off guard). I then grabbed his non-priestly hand and tried to kiss it! :oops: Boy was he embarrassed, and he pulled it back quickly. He was very nice, but very quick to explain that he wasn't a Priest and that I "didn't need to do that". I think he was more embarrassed than me, if that was possible. Anyway, the moral of the story is: do some reading or question-asking before you go.

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Post by 尼古拉前执事 »

No need to be too embarassed, Catherine the Great did about the same thing by once asking a deacon for a blessing. Once she found out that he was a deacon, she was so upset that she then required priests to wear a pectoral cross so that one could tell the difference between a priest and a deacon. Good thing she did. It truly helps out in the visiting parish situation!

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Post by Mary Kissel »

Thankyou for posting that about Catherine the Great, I never heard that before, that is very interesting! Do all the Russian priests wear pectoral crosses then? I thought it was only given as an award of some type... maybe I'm thinking of Antiochians...

MaryCecilia

Nicholas wrote:

No need to be too embarassed, Catherine the Great did about the same thing by once asking a deacon for a blessing. Once she found out that he was a deacon, she was so upset that she then required priests to wear a pectoral cross so that one could tell the difference between a priest and a deacon. Good thing she did. It truly helps out in the visiting parish situation!

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Post by Mary Kissel »

Oops! I forgot to add something. I also wanted to thankyou Nik for posting about how to greet a monk or nun. I never knew you could ask a nun for a blessing. You do kiss the Abbess's hand after receiving the blessing just like you do with a priest or monk, right? I just want to make sure I got it. :)

Thanks again for this information!

MaryCecilia

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Priests, Deacons, Abbots, Monks, Nuns, Matushka, Abesses...

Post by 尼古拉前执事 »

Yes Mary Cecilia, in the Russian Church, all priests wear the pectoral cross. As for nuns, only Abbesses can wear a pectoral cross. Laypeople should approach an Abbess for a blessing the same as they would a Priest

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Post by Justin2 »

It's so great to read about this! I went to the Holy Mountain in December, and I made the mistake of asking monks who were not priests for blessings. It was quite awkward to both parties when it occurred. But the monks were humble and friendly for the most part, and it was never a bad experience. Just a little embarassing. Another thing that I noticed while in Greece, some priests (parish clergy, not monastic), after blessing me, would sort of force my hand down when I went to kiss theirs. Does anyone know if this is sort of a custom in the Greek church? I've never met a Russian priest/monk who does this.
Oh, and the part about the Abbess and nuns was great, too! I had no idea that an Abbess was able to do these things! I suppose this is due to the fact that I haven't been to a women's monastery...

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