Ditching something that strokes your ego

[Theodora Elizabeth]

I'm not quite sure where is the proper place for this...

Has anyone else ditched something (an activity, etc.) that "stroked your ego"?

I'm considered by others to be more than a decent writer (not that you'd know it here ). I have a journalism degree, and more than 10 years ago, right out of school, I spent about 18 months as a newspaper reporter in a small Midwestern town. Loved it, but got out of it because the money was so bad.

At the urging of my godmother (who is a published writer herself - she and my godfather, her husband, are freelancers for a living) last fall, I began writing for publication again. In the past six months, I have had six or seven articles published on a conservative Christian website for women (I was mostly "paid" with books). I had recently written an article (which my godparents and others have loved) that I was going to submit to a nationally-known Christian magazine, after I had done my revisions (I've been busy with other things and not gotten to it yet).

I had a revelation this weekend that the main reason I was writing was to "get my name out there." If you've never had anything published anywhere, I can't tell describe what a rush it is to see one's name in print! :shock: It's really been a boost for my ego, this writing and getting my name in print. Not good for my soul. So, I'm going to stop writing for public consumption (here doesn't count!), at least for a while. I'm going to return to my copious letter-writing, which was my only writing for the better part of a decade, and that I immensely enjoyed.

I'm going to mention this to my priest when I go for Confession on Saturday evening, but it will be interesting to see what his reaction is, especially as he is a very well-published writer himself (books and articles), and in fact, writing is his "second" job.

Edited to add: I've been reading St. Theophan the Recluse's "The Spiritual Life and How to Be Attuned to It" and it's making something of an impression!

Theodora Elizabeth

[Justin Kissel]

Theodora Elizabeth,

I don't know if this will work or not, but it did for me. Perhaps if you wait a while, and then look back on things you've written, and see how you might change things (and how some things might even be very wrong), that would help curb enthusiasm for being published. I've only ever had one theological paper published by someone, and looking back on it I feel quite ashamed, since I think I would have written it much differently now (only two or three years later)--or rather, I hope that I would not have written it at all.

The Fathers tell us that those who wish to teach others will have a much harder time on judgment day. In one of the Psalms, King David said that he was going to keep his mouth shut, even if he had something good to say. The Fathers often bring this passage up, and point to how we mostly say idle things, but even if we have something good to say, that doesn't necessarily mean that we have to say it. I'm not suggesting that you not right, of course. But taking a break and sticking to letter writing for a while, like you are thinking of doing, sounds like a very safe and spiritually profitable course to me.

[OrthodoxyOrDeath]

That's what I need to do Justin, keep my mouth silent more.

[Chrysostomos]

Don't remember who made this quote, but thought it interesting,
and I took it to heart:

We all start out wanting to be teachers,
but how hard it is to be a pupil.

My Orthodox version:

We all wish to instruct others,
but how hard it is to be a disciple.