Question

[Natasha]

I recently ran into a woman who goes to the OCA church that I used to attend. She kept pressing me as to why I won't go to church there anymore. What should I say when they ask me why I won't go to an OCA parish? It is a troubling dilemma, because on the inside, I am still upset at how crazy its all become, how modern it is, and how alienating it felt to me. Instead of unleashing all that, I usually just say that it didn't feel comfortable to me anymore. People probably think I am crazy...oi I dunno.

I am sure other people here have some kind of experience with this...help!

[ORPRcamper]

I wish I could, but I cannot help you at all. I have, and still am, growing up with a father who was a Deacon when I was little, and is now a Priest. I hope that you find an answer to your problem, it does seem like a pretty dificult situation.

[OrthodoxyOrDeath]

Natasha,

A Roman Catholic friend who attended an event with us at the OCA, and who was later at my sons baptism at the GOC, paused to ask: "is this the same church? They have so much more stuff." That is close to a qoute.

So how do you explain to him the difference? For me of course, there is absolutley no comparison. How can you compare the Church with the life-saving Mysteries to a human organization? Of course you may not hold that same position but either way, there does not seem to be any other answer than for them to come and visit. If they see what I see, then perhaps they will never leave like many people I know. Many people I know don't see any difference other than the GOC is "harder", and "to long". For them, they may never understand.

[Nektarios14]

Natasha,

I have found myself in a similar situation as I attend Saint Anthony's Monastery or the local ROCOR mission for the most part now rather than the GOA parish that is a mere four miles from my house. I just say something close to the simplified truth, that I feel more comfortable in a traditional setting. Most people don't really get that - ironicly my non-Orthodox friends understand it much more than Orthodox that are big into to the whole "SCOBA" thing. If someone is genuinely intersted in why you are in ROCOR over the OCA maybe you could recomend the book I am working on reading right now, Selected Essays by Father Michael Pomazansky.

OOD,

Many people I know don't see any difference other than the GOC is "harder", and "to long". For them, they may never understand.

Perhaps if you told them it was too long rather than "to long" they'd understand.

Seriously though I agree that some people have such a blase attitude towards Orthodoxy that they just simply don't understand anything above americanized and water downed SCOBA Orthodoxy

[OrthodoxyOrDeath]

Nektarios,

Maybe the SCOBAphiles you know would get it if you explained to them that their version is "watered down" and not "water downed"? :thwack:

[Nektarios14]

That was intentional for the sake of the joke (I don't think anyone will believe that)

lol, you got me there OOD!

[Justin Kissel]

I recently ran into a woman who goes to the OCA church that I used to attend. She kept pressing me as to why I won't go to church there anymore.

This reminds me of something that happened at my work place a couple weeks ago. A Jewish customer met someone that he knew, and started asking her "How come you never come to synagogue anymore? Why did you stop coming? We have a bat mitzvah coming up, would you like to come? I can come pick you up, like I used to?" I couldn't help but get a big grin on my face, though I imagine the women wanted to crawl under a rock.

What type of person is this woman? Would she be understanding if you were straight-forward about the reasons? Or could you maybe just generalize (I tend to use the word "issues," which makes it sound like you have serious concerns, but you don't have to start condemning practices or beliefs or whatever [unless they ask, then maybe you can ease into a discussion of what your problems are])?