I'm sorry, Terry. I don't mean to hijack your thread in which I think you ask some worthwhile questions. It's just that this is another of those serious issues, like breast cancer, where men come out worse off because the focus is so often on the women.
So much of breast cancer awareness ocuses on women, with the result that many men are not even aware that they, too, can get breast cancer. because of this lack of awareness, women are more lilely to check for breast cancer and seek treatment than men, and their survival rate is much higher. In the same way, women are not the only ones who have to deal with abusive spouses, and many men are abused by their wives, emotionally, psychologically, and yes, physically. However, because so much of the focus on abusive marriages only protrays women as the victims, many men are scared to even discuss the issue with anybody else, and, if they are from an unhealthy "macho" culture, it may be extremely difficult for them to idendify themselves with something that they only evenr see attributed to women.
So, while I think that the question of what people in abusive marriages should do mis an inportant one, I think that is very unhelpful to the discussion to only focus on women.