Old Calendarist's What ya doin for the 24th & 25th of De

[Chrysostomos]

I decided to post this same topic that I found over at that heretical
website OC.NET

This was the response from TOME (Greek E), you know Tom from here!

Re:Old Calenderists... whach-ya'll doin' for the 24th & 25th or December?
« Reply #4 on: Today at 01:31:48pm »

---

Here's the plan as I heard it from someone "in the know"

1) Monday, December 19th - Post a large 4x6 sign in your front yard with the following statement: "No, Virginia. Christmas is NOT this Thursday"

2) Wednesday December 24th (day) - Sleep the entire day

3) Wednesday December 24th (night) - Pray for those attending "Christmas Eve" services and prepare yourself for a possibe encounter with Santa "the back-slider" Clause. Attempt to catch him "in the act". If possible, bind him strongly and take him to the nearest "traditional" Bishop (call 555-HER-ETIC for the location of the Bishop nearest you) so that he may be instructed in true Orthodoxy Praxis.

4) Thursday December 25th (beginning at 6 AM) - Peek out your window and notice who is "stirring". This is a good indication who might be the heretics and schismatics in your neighborhood!

5) Utilizing the intelligence gathered in step #4, creep up to each house and peek in the window of the room where the Christmas Tree is located. Note: If you hear any laughter or music, it is not a good sign!

6) If you should happen to see anyone joyfully opening presents or saying things like "Merry Christmas", bang harshly on the window and yell "ANATHEMA!!!" 3 times before quickly scurrying away.

7) Repeat step 6 above until you get your ass kicked by a neighbor who is upset that you scared his children (but don't worry about it - they probably were not baptized correctly anyway!)

'8') Run to the safety of your car and drive up and down the road while yelling "ANATHEMA!!!" out the window.

9) Thursday December 25th (evening) - While putting a cold compress on your black eye, write down all those neighbors that you observed celebrating Christmas that day and send it to your Priest and Bishop.

10) Sunday December 28th (at Liturgy) - Observe closely those approaching the cup and physically tackle and hog-tie anyone that is on your list. DO NOT ALLOW THEM TO TAKE COMMUNION. You will be awarded in heaven for this!

« Last Edit: Today at 01:34:15pm by TomΣ »

Tis' the season,
Rd. Chrysostomos

[尼古拉前执事]

Well usually, on the last day of the lessened days of the fast, (New Style 25 December) we celebrate Ss. Spyridon and Herman and go to Divine Liturgy. Maybe TOME should submit that to the Onion Dome? What do others do on the New Style 24th and 25th of December?

[Грешник]

I shall be celebrating my feastday with more prayers and thanksgivings to God for allowing me to move! My mother is celebrating World Christmas on the 27th so althought she knows I do not celebbrate the day with her and the family she knows I will be attending the gala she is throwing not as a Christmas party, but as a family reunion.

Juvenaly

[TomS]

Just so everyone knows -- I am the type of person that finds humor in all things.

Please understand that it was not written to offend in any way.

[Грешник]

Ya know, the more I read that the more I think that that might actually be fun to try! (Just kidding) Very clever.

Juvenaly

[Daniel]

Just so everyone knows -- I am the type of person that finds humor in all things.

Please understand that it was not written to offend in any way.

Actually Tom, that was really funny.

[Joe Zollars]

what I will be doing this Wendsday and Thursday is a'prayin' in my Ikon Corner for the return of the new calandrists to Orthodoxy.

Because of a very delicate family situation I will be exchanging gifts on that day (not as Christmas presents mind you but in celebration of St. Herman of Alaska:)) and then again I will give gifts on Jan 7 the true birth of Our Lord and Savior.

I will also be fixing a proper southron dinner on Orthodox Christmas for my family (someone got the recipee for smothered pork chops? )

Nicholas Zollars