Dearest brothers and sisters in Christ:
It seems that every time a natural or man-made disaster occurs, I am quite a bit shaken up. First the tsunami in Indonesia. Then the hurricane in the South. And now Pakistan's earthquake and Guatemala's mudslide. I don't want to sound like Jack van Impe or something but I am afraid this might indeed be the end-times. I have had a tremendous fear of the end-times since I was a teenager. I remember I would read all these books on eschatology and conspiracy theories and then would be in a deep depression for months after reading such material. In fact, this paranoia and depression has caused me to make many irrational and dumb decisions in my life. For the last ten years, I have never made many major life changes for the reason that "the end will come, so there's no point anyways". The grief that these mistakes have caused me is now catching up to me with a vengeance. I now avoid the news at all costs to sort of "buffer" me from outside world pain. But the news eventually reaches my ears anyway inevitably by whatever route. I live in utter fear everyday now. I am almost completely immobilized by these eschatological fears. I find myself unable to do my work effectively or to pursue relationships of any kind. I don't even think about the future anymore.
How can I climb my way out of this phobia? Is this demonic? I'd appreciate any help. Thank you.