Ania, on dating Buddhists

[Methodius]

Ania, I was just directed to your post elsewhere and I must agree with the majority there. You should not date a Buddhist, as dating should be to find someone to marry and you can only marry an Orthodox man. Convert him first, THEN date him.

[TomS]

Absolutely not. An Orthodox Chrsitian has no business in a romantic relationship with ANY non-Christian.

[Liudmilla]

I can tell you that unless you get him to convert and you are romantically involved, with the view towards marriage...you can forget getting married in church, you are excluded from the sacrements, you will go through hell and a very large degree of spiritual agony...it's not worth it. (Unless he converts of course...but that's a whole other problem).

[Julianna]

Find a good Orthodox Man. Try Church to find one!

[尼古拉前执事]

As I write this and the vote is 12-0 for NO, I am glad to see that there is no dissention from Orthodox teaching on this.

[Clifton]

Having followed this topic on a thread elsewhere, and without trying to "pile on" it really is baffling to me that Christians would, in light of the Scriptures and the Church canons, consider possible romantic attachments to non-Christians.

Being a gen-X-er, I'm well aware of the phenomenon of "casual dating" or going out with a person without any intent to form a lasting relationship. But this seems to me to be a justification than an actual reality. I have many friends, heck I have my own example, on which casual dating turned into something more, without intent. Granted, I suppose it is entirely possible that there are going to be x number of dates that go nowhere. But how is one to tell prior to a relationship going somewhere? In U. S. culture, dating is nothing else than the prelude to deeper relationships, particularly for women. Look at all the (so-called) "reality" shows for crying out loud.

And if the dating begins with an already solid attachment in friendship, then to contemplate a more serious relationship, dating, is already to have taken at least the mental step toward greater intimacy. And this seems to violate already the biblical stricture.

That there is a dearth of solid Christian men and women for young people to date (let alone "appealing" ones, whatever that may mean to a person), is an indictment of the apathetic (and pathetic) state of Christianity in the U. S. One cannot deny one's natural and godly desires for the great intimacy of marriage. And as a married, I suppose to the unmarried I have little standing to say, "But those natural desires do not make it alright to date just anyone."

However, being married, I better know the dangers of being "unequally yoked" from the experiences of other marrieds, and from the great work it takes to form a spiritual union in a marriage. My wife and I are both Christians, and we have identical beliefs on a great many very important matters of Faith.

But since I've turned to Orthodoxy, the smaller differences (if there can be such a thing as smaller differences in the Faith) have arisen to give occasion for our sinful nature and the demons to create painful friction and tension. By the mercies of God and through prayer, we are weathering these tests. But I could not imagine going through these things with an unbelieving spouse. I have been single and am now married. If I were single again and knew what I now know, I would be even more confirmed in my adherence to not dating non-Christians.

[Seraphim Reeves]

I can speak from personal experience on this one. My engagement/marriage preceeded my formal entry into the Orthodox milieu. As such, my wife is vaguely Christian in her values and beliefs (her parents are from a mixed Baptist/Jehovah's Witness background.. more so the former than the latter, though none save her JW grandmother are at all religious), but certainly not Orthodox.

I love my wife dearly, but the differences of religious belief have been a strain on our relationship at times. I deal with the situation, because it is one that has already been created - however, I would never have chosen this situation had I already been Orthodox, nor would I recommend this to anyone else. This is particularly the case if you are at all interested in living out your beliefs sincerely.

Without exception, if you ask Orthodox Christians in similar situations to my own (usually converts whose spouses have yet to follow them in becoming Orthodox Christians) what their marriage is like, I doubt you'll fine one (talking about observant Christians here, not "cultural Orthodox" who do not take the faith very seriously) who is not having problems in their relationship with their spouse due to "disparity of religion." And this is usually in situations where the spouse is some kind of Christian! The problem of a pagan spouse would be multiplied. How on earth can you teach a child the first commandment, if they have idols in the home? It is precisely for this reason that St.Paul in fact gave dispensation to converts who are married, to separate from their non-Christian spouses if their home situation was becoming intolerable.

I understand that the emotional attachment to someone can be hard to break. It's definatly a form of little martyrdom, to do the right thing in situations like this. I can only say, no promise, the person considering a marriage with a non-Christian, that they will be more at peace in the long run without this person that to pursue it.

Seraphim