Split from the Marriage thread: Joe Zollars

[Joe Zollars]

wow, I never actually knew people who had met online, got married, and been successful in marriage before. It must be some type of miracle or somethin'.

Well, seeing as I am a firm believer in arranged marriage (its cheaper and I don't have time to date--not that there are any prospects within a 300 mile radius). However, I would have stipulations:

1. They would have to modest, willing to stay at home, never wearing pants, always willing to cover heads, anti feminazi
2. politically conservative
3. born below the mason dixon line (I could be lax on this I suppose)
4. Traditional roman Catholic

My parents are:

1. anti-modesty, hate the idea of housewives, think skirts are stupid, making women cover their heads is oppressive, and are avid feminists.
2. make clinton look conservative
3. pro-yankee and hate the south with a vengence. the only thing they hate more are traditional Catholics.
4. Dad is a lay eucharistic minister at the local Novus Ordo Roman "catholic" "community" need I say more?

therefore I am bound to celibacy to the end of my days.

Joe Zollars

PS: I mean no disrespect to my parents. simply reiterating their oft stated views.

JZ

PSS: Must also be Pro Monarchy, just so long as they don't want a clintonian dynasty I also meant this entire message to be humorous. kinda.

JZ

[Justin Kissel]

I think it'd be funny if you found your "dream girl," but she turned out to be a northern yankee and proud of it :mrgreen:

[Joe Zollars]

now that would be funny, not likely but funny.

I've actually thought this out. If I ever had time and money at the same time for going on dates and lived in an area where their MIGHT be such a prospect, I would pick her up. I would open the doors etc. if she got onto me for that, back home she goes. IF she was wearing pants, she can turn right around and go back inside.

Somewhere along the way on the first or second date I would swing by the "local" (that is nearest) Latin Mass Chapel. If she made even one snide comment about the tridentine Mass, back home she goes. If she refuses to go in because she has nothing with which to cover her head, or pulls a mantilla out of her purse, I might ask her out again.

assuming it went more than a month or two, I'd take her to a renactment. If she decided to play a yankee nurse, we'd really be in trouble.

But considering I live in liberal catholic land and have about 200 miles to get to the nearest Latin Mass Chapel, and they are even sedevacantists and another 50 miles to the nearest indult and or SSPX chapel, its not likely that I will be finding anyone any time in the near future. Maybe I should just sell my worldly possesions and go to Clear Creek Monastary in hulbert Oklahoma (indult Benedictines--http://www.clearcreekmonks.org). I was there a month or so ago with the Schola Cantorum from the local NO "Church", and over dinner on Saturday, the lector read from the account of Lee's gathering of the Virginia Militia-CSA. The Shcola's Choirmaster wanted to know how big a donation I made to the monastary.

Once again I meant to offense to any feminazi yankee who may be lurking and or posting at this site. It was meant to be humorous.

Introib ad Altare Deo isn't that hard to say now that I think about it.

Joe Zollars

Joe Zollars

[Julianna]

Hopefully you'll meet a woman that'll haul you off to an Orthodox Church instead!

[bogoliubtsy]

Ah, pants! Will your evils never cease?

Wishing I was a woman so I could have a shot with Joe,

Peter/Josh

[Anastasios]

Hopefully you'll meet a woman that'll haul you off to an Orthodox Church instead!

Yeah Joe, what happened to your conversion to Orthodoxy? Did you change your mind?

anastasios

[Joe Zollars]

Ah, finally someone has brought it up.

I did decide to return to the Holy Roman Catholic Church. I am just too western to be Eastern, and the reason I was leaving in the first place was a refusel to submit myself in obedience to the teachings of the Church. Also my confessor had told me to do something that I did not wish to do. In addition to this, I firmly believe that those who die outside of the Roman Catholic Church, whether eastern or western rite, have no hope for salvation. Thankfully I came to my senses before making any firm steps into schism.

I really must apologize to serge and others who tried to talk some sense into me, but I was simply too pigheaded to listen.

In addition, I got really burned out from the Novus Ordo services (most I dare not call a Mass). But when I sat down and compared the Immemorial Tridentine Latin Mass with the Orthodox Divine Liturgy, there were several red flags raised concerning the Orthodox Divine Liturgy and liturgical customs. The Tridentine Mass in my opinion more fully represents the timeless truth of the Gospels.

Also, and perhaps most unfortunately, almost every Orthodox I either met in person or corresponded with via the internet, was either professing liberalism and ecumenism (both heresies I would sooner die than pronounce) or extremely angry and bitter. There was an exception or two, but perhaps these were the exceptions that proved the rule. I don't think I could stand being in a Church where love and christian charity seem to have no place along side jurisdictional politics and legalism.

Peter, women wearing pants (as well as tight clothing, backless and sleeveless shirts, and short skirts) are immodest. As modesty is the backbone of Chastity, you can say that immodesty is the backbone of an unchaste lifestyle, at least the starting point of it.

Joe Zollars