Working with heathen

[Theodora Elizabeth]

I have enormous issues, with regards to my observance of Orthodoxy, with my co-workers. I can't even say I work with heterodox (sp?), expect for one girl who is a "cafeteria Catholic" and attends church fairly often. I work with heathen, complete with out-of-wedlock children (one intentional!), drinking, clubbing, raunchy conversations in the office, and one woman who is heavily into women (and talks about it constantly! ugh!).

Comments are often made about my fasting, as well my trying to live a moral life. I've even had a little icon of the Theotokos and the Christ Child, that was on my desk overnight, thrown into the trash! I found it, thank God, before the trash was emptied!

I've been at this office for almost three years. It pays very well, along with lots of vacation time, which allows me to take time off for church things (Holy Week, for example) when I need to. I believe the Lord is using this as a way to purify me, like a crucible, and burn off all the impurities. So I'm staying here. Mine is a casual office, jeans and shorts, even. I've stopped wearing shorts, but I do wear cropped pants (the amount of grief I would get if I came in everyday in a skirt - which I don't have enough of anyhow - would be incredible). But I'm still dressed modestly compared with many of the girls in the office, with a sleeveless polo and cropped pants today. The girls in my area often have obscene hip-hop music on the radio (I just keep my news station turned up some on my radio). Some days it's unbearable, other days it's better. Today they noticed my bean soup for lunch (as well as the fasting calendar on my cube wall) and made some brief comment about "You're fasting again? You should be a stick!"

I'd appreciate any suggestions from others who have had to deal with work situations hostile to your Orthodoxy.

Thanks,
Theodora Elizabeth

[OrthodoxyOrDeath]

I used to work in an office, but it was far more controlled since it was a large corporation with a policy manual thick enough to use as a chair (And that seems to be the only thing contolling peoples passions today, policy manuals, laws, ect. = behavior to acheive personal gain).

I used to catch the attention of people mainly because of my fasting. It always seemed like there were situations when it would catch notice: going away parties, events, lunches. And I remember many debauched conversations by people who would try to rope you in so you can prove yourself as "one of them". But again, nothing like you describe.

It was either be one of them or let them know that you were in fact not one of them at all and face the consequences. In the end I think they at least respected my stand, even if they never said so. People who have surrendered themselves to this sick society, I beleive, are actually looking for something better because they know in their heart, as Christ gave them this, that what they are doing is a dead end and completley empty.

[Nektarios14]

Part of the problem is considering those around you to be heathen. As Saint Seraphim of Sarov said...acquire peace and thousands will be saved at your side (not an exact quote, but the basic idea). Don't preach to your co-workers or even make it known that you fast etc. Simply live an Orthodox life in a quiet manner and that will be the greatest testament to Orthodoxy.

I just started a new job that has its own share of temptations associated, but I just try to pray the Jesus Prayer and not judge.

[TomS]

Sounds to me that they are not objecting to your "Orthodox parixis". They are reacting to you setting yourself apart from them.

"Birds of a feather flock together" is a true. And by setting yourself apart from the group you can EXPECT to be sigled out. It is HUMAN nature.

I agree with Nektarios (above post). Just go about doing what you are doing but do not draw attention to yourself or your actions. Is there really a reason that you can't keep the fasting calendar in your desk drawer? Yeah -- i know it is not FAIR -- but it is they way the world works.

[Etienne]

I had a colleague, a Chilean catholic. He was a lovely man, very witty and incredily supportive when I had to tackle a very difficult abuse case.

He, rather late in the day, caught on to my being Orthodox. This lead to all sorts of unasked for comments about idolatry, etc., etc. He who was usually so tolerant became very intolerant. I certainly learnt a lot about the 'spirit of liberation theology'. A group of families I visited were Polish. I think I heard every anti-Russian joke there ever was - though some were very funny.

What surprises me is the intolerance of the 'supposedly' tolerant - who are forever talking of the need to be able to 'express themselves' and to celebrate 'diversity'.

I feel one earlier correspondent had a point when pointing a resistance to someone distancing themselves from the group. Even so, in this age of a plethora of 'nutty' and 'faddy' diets, lifestyles and patterns of dressing it is 'odd' that a believer trying to pursue his or her 'lifestyle' should meet such resistance, or is it? One thing I tried to do was go about it quietly and without any fanfare. Difficult enough to do with men and possibly more difficult with women colleagues...........

[Theodora Elizabeth]

Thank you for your comments.

Yes, I get "vibes" sometimes that the coworkers are, at the least very confused by how I live my life, and at the most, uncomfortable. Once I was told that there's nothing wrong with me that "a little premarital s-x, some alcohol, and an out-of-wedlock child wouldn't cure"!!!!??? One (who had a child out-of-wedlock, father now in jail) actually told me that "God wouldn't care if you had a baby without being married." They are very liberal, and talk about "respecting others" but yet when it comes to my Orthodoxy and conservatism, that's when that flies out the window.

I've tried to be quiet with things, but it's a small office, 20 people total and about eight people in my area, and everyone is in everyone else's business. Our desks are so close together that you can't even have a phone conversation without three other people hearing it.

And yes, I did put the fasting calendar in my desk drawer, just a bit earlier this afternoon.

Theodora Elizabeth

[Theodora Elizabeth]

[quote="Νεκτάριος"]Part of the problem is considering those around you to be heathen...Don't preach to your co-workers....[quote]

I think there is an awfully fine line between discerning what and is not moral behvaior and actually judging ("you're going to hell for having an out-of-wedlock child"). One of my very liberal co-workers actually has told me I shouldn't even discern (he used "judge") about moral behavior. I've not told the co-workers it was a bad idea (whatever "it" is), but I have told them, I'm "traditional" enough that I won't have kids before I'm married (when they asked). They make it quite open that they're either bed-hopping or considering who is the next "prospect." When someone came right out and asked me, if I would have sex out of wedlock, I said no.

Someone mentioned in a previous post about going against the group. I suspect that may be part of the issue with my office. They simply may not know what make of someone who is "different" and how I'm different.

Theodora Elizabeth