I have just recently read some conversion stories that came up in another thread. I would like to let everyone know who I am.
I was born in a Polish, catholic family. When I was in my teens, I was very interested in the "other world". I was attracted to the psychic phenomena and at 22 I was using tarot cards (with Greek mythological symbols). I had a Greek boyfriend. Then I discovered a religious bookstore in my town, Montreal, and I went to look for Orthodox saints, becaue my Greek boyfriend was talking about Orthodoxy. I love to read so the books were like food to my soul. All I did was read these books, no other books mattered to me, at that point. By the way, since I was 12, I looked up in the sky and wondered WHERE God is...so I think my soul had been searching for this way before I met my boyfriend.
I learnt everything about the Orthodox faith from these books. I read St. Anthony the Great, the Desert Fathers and the Philokalia (Vol. 1). Plus many others because I kept going back for more. I didn't know anything that was going on with the old and new calendar Greek churches. I just kept reading these spiritual treasures.
Then one Saturday afternoon, my soul was filled with overwhelming spiritual yearning. I couldn't stop myself and I went looking for the Greek priest in the old calendar church that my boyfriend told me about. It was Aug. 14, 1993 ( I was 27). I found him in the church, the Saturday liturgy had just finished and we went in a little room to talk. He seem preplexed by my exasperated state, but he listened to me. I broke down and cried, like my soul was bursting with tears. A girl walked in, wanting to use the phone. She departed quickly.
He told me to come back the next day (Sunday) if I wanted to pursue my search. I went back the next day, after liturgy was finished. It was Aug 15 (new calendar, but Aug. 1, old calendar and the beginning of the feast of the Dormition of the Theotokos). He did the prayer of the catechumen over me and when I looked up, I saw a young man sitting there. I felt like my privacy was violated, but he was a friend of the priest. I went to the priest's house for lunch. He was a hiermonk priest that lived with his parents. He and the young man, Timothy started talking to me about the sacrifices that I will make to become Orthodox. Since I was a catechumen, it meant that I could never turn back to my old faith...I blew that away to the west.
I started to feel such anxiety, like I had done something that I can never renounce and I thought about my parents and their reaction. I was still living at home, my parents were my world. I was scared. But, once I left the house, I felt like I could breath. It was alot for me to handle.
After that day, I stared going to the church every Sunday and feast days. By God's Will, I moved out a month later. I was not able to live with my parents under this circumstance. I'm sure others have done so, but God saw that I needed my freedom, so that I could be strong to pursue my faith.
On Pascha of May 1st, 1994, I was baptised after the Agape service. My god-mother was the young 19 year old girl that walked in on us that special day. She has been an angel in my life. She is Greek and lives outside of Athens now. She just got married in August. The young man that was sitting there after the catechumen prayer is my god-father and has been a source of spiritual enlightenment for me since then.
I have to say that I left the old calendar Greek church a month after my baptism. I was scandalized by the priest's spiritual incoherence and his lack of love. I didn't go to church for 3 years after that. I went to the priest's house for general services(the one that baptised me).
But, in the interim, I was brought to the R.O.C.A. St. Nicholas Cathedral in Montreal. It's the one that burnt down, if anyone has heard. My Slavic background made me feel close to the people there. The language was different, but if I listened closely, I could recognize many words. And their character was more familiar to me then the smothering Greek women. I'm part of of the sisterhood and when the older women talk to me in Russian, I can understand. They remind me of the Polish babuskas.
My bestfriend, Maria, who is Greek brought me there. So I started going there. I have to admit that I was used to a Greek Byzantine service and frankly, women voices in a CHOIR, was too catholic to me. But, I have gotten over that and truely love hearing their chants. My favorite part is Izehe Heruvim.
And I was taught the stricter behaviour in the church, like fasting three days before Holy Communion, wearing a head-scarf and not wearing lipstick when you kiss the icons, to mention a few.
It's what I was taught at the beginning, so it sticks in my head. I see that others do differently, but I won't change that about myself. But, I know that there is a fine line of discernment on how to approach everybody's perspective, meaning, we have to be able to respond to a comment that will be of spiritual benefit to the person and not a rejection.
So that's the bare essencials of myself. I hope others will be able to understand where I come from.
Joanna