Please talk to your Priest about this.
And in one Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Only-begotten, Begotten of the Father before all ages, Light of Light, True God of True God, Begotten, not made; of one essence with the Father, by whom all things were made:
Who for us men and for our salvation came down from the heavens, and was incarnate of the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary, and became man;
And was crucified for us under Pontius Pilate, and suffered and was buried;
And rose again on the third day, according to the Scriptures;
And ascended into the heavens, and sitteth at the right hand of the Father;
And shall come again, with glory, to judge both the living and the dead, Whose kingdom shall have no end.
Some Proofs:
The Church Fathers who said this and originally wrote this are wonderful Saints who lived the Christian Ideal every day. The Gnostics deny the totality of the Incarnation and they were politically active and smart - but not Saintly in character. Judge a tree by its fruit!
Holy Scripture - for example, remember Abraham and Sarah and God appearing as three? Remember one like the Son of man in the fire with the three youths? On and on Holy Scripture in OT and New.
Holy Gospels - Jesus says who He is explicitly, and what the Truth says, that for Truth we hold.
Jesus calms the wind and waves - which is physically possible for a man if and only if He is God
Jesus arose from the dead Himself.
Jesus harrowed hell - the tombs burst open and the dead were raised.
Jesus ascended to the Father in front of many witnesses.
Go back to 1 - look at all the wonderful Saints in all of human history who proclaimed the true things about God, like St. Seraphim of Sarov for example. Repeat these things endlessly and study them deeply with the Divine Liturgy, and like a flower they will bring about truth and beauty, and you won't want to leave Church!
The devil is going to attack you like no tomorrow because you are going from darkness to the light.
On Holy Saturday, God willing, you will see such wonderful joy. Search the Scriptures, and on Holy Saturday, you will get a foretaste of paradise!!!
Please talk to your Priest about this.
andy holland
sinner
May God arise and judge the Earth!