Counsels from the Holy Mountain.

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12 . Concerning the sorrow which you have in your soul because of your sins, it is good and beneficial. Only when it leads you to despair, then it is clearly demonic. Immediately turn toward hope and say: “Since I repent for everything, I hope that everything I have done is forgiven. There is no sin which surpasses the compassion of God. However great the sins may be, when they come to repentance they are dissolved. Oh, the depth of the humility, forbearance, and compassion of the Lord!

May all those who are laden with a heavy sentence take courage, for there is a God Who does not consider whatever evil we may have done to Him. He forgives all sins, if only we sincerely repent. Endure the trials, my child, and it will turn out well for you. Patience—yes, patience: this will open the gates of paradise for us.

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13 . In the tragic ordeal that my Elder went through, how tangibly he felt Christ! While to others the approach of death causes trembling and fear, he remained in the eros of Christ. What a wonder this is! “Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” (Heb. 13:8 ).

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14 . Affliction is an instrument, a tool, which God holds in His hand. He alone uses it as His infinite wisdom dictates. He uses it differently for each person, according to the need of each. Affliction in its various forms purifies and sanctifies the one who accepts it with wisdom and knowledge. That is, each affliction a Christian has is a divine visitation for his salvation, sent by the most sweet right hand of our heavenly Father, even though our nature dislikes such things, just as bitter medicines are unpleasant to the sick. Besides, if we had no afflictions, certainly we would have the fate of Lucifer. For he, at the height of glory and repose, forgot the greatness of God and his own puniness and weakness, and said, “I shall set my throne upon the clouds, and I shall be like the Highest.” (cf. Is. 14:13 ). After he thought these things, God cast him down; the former dawning star and most luminous angel became a demon, Satan, the devil, the filthiest of God’s creatures, not by nature—for God made everything very good—but by his own choice to be evil and rebellious. The devil sows within families grumbling, dislike, envy,obstinacy, etc., and thus in many families there is one person who will disturb their peace, serenity, and joy. This evil seed was not absent even from the midst of the sacred family of the Lord, which He had created on earth for the coming salvation—that is, in the midst of His sacred disciples: Judas Iscariot, a God-slaying seed!

The devil sows his seed in the midst of the wheat; even in the synodias of monastics such people exist. Not that the person himself is evil, but with his weaknesses of grumbling, envy, etc., he becomes an instrument of the devil that disturbs the peace and quiet of the others. All these things bear witness to the fact that we are exiles from our true fatherland and are now in the reformatories where the discipline of the Lord is practiced. And all who accept the discipline are led back into the heavenly paternal inheritance and recover their lost sonship, as ones worthy to receive God as their inheritance. But all who remain undisciplined, like me, and do not acknowledge the discipline, but instead through their works are shown to be illegitimate, are driven away and condemned as unworthy of the adoption to which the discipline of the Lord aimed. May our good God and Father count us worthy to be among the successful who have received adoption as sons, unto the ages of ages. Amen.

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15 . My child, be patient in everything, for the reward is great. Do not look at the weight of afflictions, but consider the payment: your light afflictions reserve eternal glory for you in the heavens that far outweight them all. (cf. 2 Cor. 4:17 ). For this reason you should rejoice instead of grieving. Thank our good God in everything and do not let our enemy see you lose your patience, because then he will attack you even more in order to demolish the wall of patience completely.

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16 . Concerning your question, whether or not your heartfelt sorrow and mourning are beneficial, I tell you that they are very beneficial, for they hold you back from sin, especially from the attachment and pleasure of the world, which are alien to God. Yes, but even here discernment is necessary, that sorrow and mourning are not done inordinately, for then they become harmful. Behold a sign: when you mourn reflecting on your old sins and the mourning becomes inordinate, it ends up in despair; and then you regard God as a merciless punisher, which is absurd. For He disciplines as a Father, and this is how the Christians understands it when he does not mourn inordinately. This is why discernment is most important, for it delivers us from excesses and deficiencies. When despair overcomes you, think about something else: If God commanded men to forgive the faults of their fellow men seventy times seven each day, how much more will an infinitely compassionate God forgive? Who has ever repented and not been saved? Who has ever said, “I have sinned” and was not forgiven? Who has fallen and sought help and was not raised up? Who has wept and was not comforted by God? “If you then,” says the Lord, “being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him?” (Mt. 7:11 ). Our heavenly Father disciplines us, not to make us despair, but rather to make us repent and correct ourselves. When we misunderstand the meaning of discipline, we end up in despair. Under the sway of such an influence, it is impossible for the soul to be consoled. But when we retain a healthy understanding of the meaning of discipline and afflictions, much divine comfort follows. Behold, my child, under what circumstances mourning and grief are beneficial.

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17 . In this world, my child, people are divided into good and bad, rich and poor, educated and uneducated, noble and lowborn, smart and not so smart. All, however, have one thing in common: suffering. For without exception all people will suffer in their life. As the maxim says: “It is a wonder if anyone has been happy throughout his life”. So then, all people live in the kingdom of suffering. We know that suffering is something personal, which one must face alone. It is his cross, which he must carry, just as the Savior of the world, Jesus, carried His cross for our sake. So be at ease, my child, in the paternal hand, which at this time performs surgery on you by means of suffering, and be calm. Accept that God sends it to you, reconcile yourself with suffering, so that you will be able to face it. I know how difficult this is, but also how beneficial for your salvation. The saints rejoiced in their afflictions; let us at least accept ours with patience, and God will not forget even this miniscule, voluntary patient acceptance of His will, which is represented by suffering. My child, muster the powers of your soul when you suffer, and try to understand the purpose of suffering, through which God opens heaven for you. Do you think that He Who numbers the hairs of your head does not know the measure of your suffering? Yes, He knows it. Therefore be at rest, trusting in our heavenly Father. Do not grow weary; with our Christ’s help you will pass through everything, and will also become His heir in the boundless fortune of our common Father. Amen.

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18 . Are you able to enumerate the mercies of God? The sins of the worst person, before the compassion of God, are like a handful of sand in the ocean. There is no sin which overcomes the compassion of God. God may be portrayed as our mother: is it possible for the sin of a child to overcome his mother’s love? If a mother loves her child so much, how infinitely does God love us, Who clearly proved this by being crucified on the Cross? The Apostle Peter denied the Lord three times, yet through repentance he was restored. The great persecutor of Christians, the Apostle Paul, through repentance became the chief of the Apostles. Prostitutes, thieves, tax collectors, and innumerable other guilty people were sanctified by repentance. For this reason, cast away your distress and excessive remorse; be hopeful; take courage, and drive away every thought of despair.