Penitence is aided by conscience, memory, imagination, feeling, will. Just as we sin with all the powers of our soul, so must our repentance be all-encompassing. Repentance which is expressed only in words, without intention to reform and without any feeling of remorse is called hypocritical. If the realization of one’s sins is becoming dampened – it must be revived; if one’s emotions are becoming blunted – they must be awakened; if the will for reform is weakening – it must be sharpened: the Heavenly Kingdom is seized by force. Confession must be sincere, deep, full.
Whoever becomes accustomed to accounting for his life during confession here, will not fear to answer at the dread Judgment of Christ. For this reason a brief court of penitence has been established here on earth, so that we – cleansed and rectified through earthly repentance – would be able to give a blameless answer at Christ’s Last Judgment. This is the first motivation for sincere and regular repentance. The longer we do not repent, the worse off we are, the more tangled becomes the web of our sins, the harder it is to answer for them. The second motivation is tranquility: the sincerer our confession, the more tranquil will be our soul. Sins are like hidden snakes, eating away at a person’s heart and his entire being; they do not give him any peace, they constantly gnaw at his heart; since are like prickly thorns, continuously wounding the soul; sins are spiritual darkness. All penitents must bear the fruits of repentance.
Dear brothers and sisters – communicants! Let us dread the petrified insensitivity of our sins; let us fear the pride in our hearts which says: I do not need to be absolved of sin, I am not guilty, I am not a sinner; or – my sins are human, very light, – as though sins need to be demonic; or – I don’t mind living with my sins! This is satanic pride, and Satan repeats the same words within our heart. Let us profoundly feel – deep within our heart – our numerous iniquities, let us sigh over them from the bottom of our soul, let us shed tears of spiritual tenderness and mollify our ired Master. Let us avoid self-justification, for it is said that in God’s sight shall no man living be justified, and it is only through sincere repentance of our sins that we can propitiate the Lord. Let us eschew indifference and coldness, and let us serve the Lord with fervent zeal; let us not forget that we have now come to atone before the Master of our life and our righteous Judge for a long period of iniquitous life. Is there any place here for indifference and coldness? Should not our whole soul turn into a spiritual flame and burst out in tears of sincere repentance? O God, our God! Our iniquities have truly multiplied as the hairs on our head, as the grains of sand in the sea, and we do not comprehend them, we are indifferent to them, we do not even stop loving them. Grant to all of us, O Lord, a contrite spirit and a humble heart, that we may bring Thee our true repentance. Amen.
From the spiritual diary of St. John of Kronstadt, “My Life in Christ.”