Methodius,
Greetings! In answer to your PM, I'd like to say a few things, but they are things I'd like to say publically as well. Saint Gregory the Theologian said:
Not to every one, my friends, does it belong to philosophize about God; not to every one; the Subject is not so cheap and low; and I will add, not before every audience, nor at all times, nor on all points; but on certain occasions, and before certain persons, and within certain limits. - Gregory the Theologian, Oration 27
I have struggled with a number of things in this Oration for some time now. Recently I've been reading some texts that give a context for understanding the words of St. Gregory. Though I once believed (rationalized, really) that the words in this Oration spoke mostly of heretics wrongly discussing dogmatic issues, I've recently realised that St. Gregory was speaking of any weighty issue, whether "dogmatic" or not. I likewise have been rationalizing away other texts, such as the oft-used monastic commandment that one should not speak unless it is absolutely necessary. In a word, it is not for me, someone new to the faith, to go off blabbering about everything that I think I might know a little something about. Regarding who could speak of theology, Saint Gregory said:
Not to all men, because it is permitted only to those who have been examined, and are passed masters in meditation, and who have been previously purified in soul and body, or at the very least are being purified. - Gregory the Theologian, Oration 27
Metropolitan Hierotheos has a short section detailing exactly this teaching in his book Orthodox Psychotherapy: The Science of the Fathers. For example:
"'Total purity is the foundation for theology.' 'When a man's senses are perfectly united to God, then what God has said is somehow mysteriously clarified.' ...This saint knows how 'the theology of demons' develops in us. In vainglorious hearts which have not previously been purified by the operation of the Holy Spirit, the unclean demons 'give us lessons in tghe interpretation of scripture'. Therefore a slave of passion should not 'dabble in theology'." - Metropolitan Hierotheos, Orthodox Psychotherapy: The Science of the Fathers, (Birth of the Theotokos Monastery, 1994), pp. 31-32 (quoting St. John Climacus)
There are other such quotes (cf pp. 30-36). The point is, I've fallen into prelest. I'm not saying this about anyone else, but as for myself, it seems fairly clear to me now (after having gotten my spiritual life back up on track, so that I'm again doing all that I should be doing) that I was both being deceived and deceiving myself. Knowing answers does not always come from the proper mindset or going about things in the right way.
Last night, the Bible reading for my wife and I included part of the third chapter of Sirach, and I'd like to go over it with some mostly rhetorical questions...
"What is too sublime for you, seek not, into things beyond your strength search not." (Sir. 3:20)
And what is too sublime for me? Since I am new to the faith, and not even doing everything I ought, how can I say that I am worthy of knowing (let alone discussing!) theology? I do not even pray and fast as I ought, and you know (Methodius) some of my other faults. How then can I think myself cleansed enough to know the sublime? Why then should I discuss, when I might infect others with my errors (which I had before thought to be truths), and when I cannot understand, yet, the truths of God reveals to those who are ready for them? So the Scriptures say:
"What is committed to you, attend to; for what is hidden is not your concern." (Sir. 3:21)
This sums up perfectly what I needed to hear, and what I'd been realising the last few weeks. What has been committed to me is a simple prayer rule, simple fasting regulations, and learning to be humble, sincere, loving, etc. To conquer the passions. What is hidden is the truths of God, and the true way of God. Thus I do stupid things, and let the passions run me around and drive me crazy. And so:
"With what is too much for you meddle not, when shown things beyond human understanding." (Sir. 3:22)
And leave it alone I will. At least until I am asked to do more. It cannot come of my own will, though... I cannot again fall into the same trap I did before, going wherever my "theological interests" led. This was my protestant baggage that I kept with me: this need to share information if I had it, to give my opinion and "put in my 2 cents" at every opportunity. This was more than baggage though, it was the product of prelest. And what is the end of prelest?
"Their own opinion has misled many, and false reasoning unbalanced their judgment. Where the pupil of the eye is missing, there is no light, and where there is no knowledge, there is no wisdom." (Sir. 3:23-24)
And so I must leave off for a time. I'm not leaving so much as stepping back and getting myself straight. I'm realising my role, which is not what I thought it was. This isn't to say anything about anyone else at this forum, I am speaking only of myself. And where it will all end, I don't know; but at least now I have more time to figure that out.
In Christ our God,
Justin
will your guys' spiritual Father still allow MCK to come?
