marriage in the church

[Terry]

Hello all,

I have a question about marriage in the church. My husband claims he is orthodox, but he is not a church goer, nor is he religious, but he does stick with a couple of traditions such as going to the church at midnight on easter.

Anyways, We got married in the city hall last year, and he doesnt want to do the religious ceramonie in the church. I told him how important it is to me that our marriage be blessed by God, and he told me God is everywhere(which is true) and he knows we are married. He told me this is something I cannot change his mind about. He doesnt want to do the church ceramonie because he thinks its not that important. Please pray for him, Dragos Turner is his name.

Do you have any advice for me? remember, his mind is made up.

God Bless,

-Terry-

[TomS]

He told me this is something I cannot change his mind about. He doesnt want to do the church ceramonie because he thinks its not that important. Do you have any advice for me? remember, his mind is made up.

-Terry-

Leave the man alone. Stop nagging him about it. Instead of focusing in on what YOU want, maybe you should just let it go.

Being overy zelous will drive a wedge between the two of you.

{seems my earlier post was deleted. Don't understand why. This is VALID advice.}

[GOCPriestMark]

Tom, do you really think that wanting a marriage blessed by God is being overly zealous?

[TomS]

Tom, do you really think that wanting a marriage blessed by God is being overly zealous?

No. But don't you see by the words she uses in her post that she has begun to judge him harshly?

My husband claims he is orthodox, but he is not a church goer, nor is he religious, but he does stick with a couple of traditions such as going to the church at midnight on easter.

She is keeping score.

She has brought her wish up to him and he has told her that she can't change his mind (statements like "you can't change my mind" generally come about after repeated discussions).

If she persists in trying to mold him into her "perfect Orthodox husband", then she will push him away.

Time is what is needed here.

[GOCPriestMark]

Tom, I have no way of knowing if they are true or not, but Terry's statement looks more like observations than harsh judgment to me.

Furthermore, according to Orthodox practice, her husband has cut himself off from communion by not having his marriage blessed. And Terry, even if she were to be baptized, would not be eligible for communion for the same reason. Holy things and the church's blessing don't seem to matter to him, but if Terry wants to join the church and receive communion her situation will have to change.

[TomS]

Furthermore, according to Orthodox practice..

Practice of which Orthodox Church? It certainly is NOT the practice of the Greek Orthodox Church (which I remind you is the original Orthodox Church).

If she is baptized Orthodox, she has every right to take communion and avail herself of ALL the blessing of the Church. She should not be faulted for her husbands short-comings.

And if she is unfortunate enough to find herself a member of a "church" that feels it is right to punish a member due to that member's inability to control their spouse, then she needs to leave that "church" and find on that is built on the forgiveness of Christ!!!

[GOCPriestMark]

Tom, you have said that "Anyway, I am a deist. We are spiritual beings plopped down here and it is up to us to find our way. It is up to each individual to find his own heaven or hell. God has no direct interaction with us at all. He is deaf to our pleas." Therefore your comments regarding Orthodoxy are as from one on the outside trying to look in to understand something that you are not a part of. I suppose this is why you do not understand what I have said. I like the human compassion that you exhibit in many of your replies, but because you do not believe that God hears our prayers and helps us, (indeed, our Lord said ye can do nothing without Me), then you will not see the need for God's blessing on marital union, a condition that He Himself created for our salvation.

For everyone I will try to explain more clearly.
God has given us the marital state for our salvation. An Orthodox Christian knows that for this state to be filled with the grace to work out our salvation it must be blessed according to the Orthodox practice. The Orthodox believe in God and therefore the power of these prayers and desire them for the beginning of their married life together.

To live together without this blessing is referred to as an illegal/illicit union, aka fornication. Those living in fornication are not eligible for holy communion, nor to enter the kingdom of God (ICor 5:11 and 6:9-10). Perhaps everyone else already understood this and it is only Tom who did not, in which case then I will be silent. I will gladly try to answer anyone else who still does not understand.

PS. Taking communion is not a "right".